Thursday, July 12, 2012

The friends who carry my heart

All of us who do it, know blogging is therapeutic.

After my post this morning, I had to run out the door to organize a concert at our local water park (I'm the marketing director for the park).

I walked out the door, ready to brave the heat and I put on my happy face.

Throughout the day my phone would buzz in my pocket and I would occasionally check it to see a preview of the emails that were coming in.

That heavy heart I woke to was gradually lifted with each word of encouragement that I received.  Comments on my blog.  Private messages.  Texts.  Many of which told me you were praying.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sure, nothing has changed. But if there is anything good that I can say has come from this adoption grief that I muddle through, it has been the friendships I have been given by women who I would have never known otherwise.

My dear sweet friend on the east coast (you know who you are!), I am in awe of your faithful daily prayers for me, even though you have no connection to adoption at all.  Your heart is so good!

Adoptive mom friends who support me, pray for me, and sometimes just tell me how it SHOULD be different; I love each and every one of you.  You encourage me with your living, breathing open adoptions and I so appreciate the love you shower over me, even when I am not part of your 'family'. You keep me from becoming completely bitter, because through you, I see that not every adoption relationship is bad.  Some are really, really good.  And those relationships bring me joy.

Fellow birthmother friends, I appreciate the way you hold me up on days I cannot drag myself up.  Knowing that there is an entire community of 'us' out there who understand fully, is both unfortunate and sadly comforting. I am thankful for the camaraderie.  It is a sad sorority of ours (a term Susie Book once said to me), but at least we all understand.  Thank you for encouraging me and reminding me that I can make it through today, no matter how hard.  Because I see that you have, even when you didn't think you would some days.

And my dear sweet 'real life' friends who read and who may not comment on my blog but instead text, call or just stand next to me in my office while I cry, I am truly thankful for all of you.  You live this with me, and you still stick around anyway.

My heart may be heavy, but so many people help me carry it on the really bad days.

Thank you friends.


BumbersBumblings said...

You are soo loved!

Rebekah said...

Big heart squeezes.

birthmothertalks said...

((((hugs))) to you. I pray for a more open relationship with Brit's parents. I hope in time they come to terms with whatever is keeping them at this distance. I have dreams of having children quite often and I wonder if that's something us birthmom's do to try to redo things.

Venessa said...

It is amazing how this blog world connects us! You are thought of always!

m&msmommy said...

I'm not much into blogging these days, but if nothing ever came from blogging besides getting to "meet" you know and know your story, then it was all worth! :) You/your family/Brit/your story will always hold a very special place in my heart. I don't even remember how I got to your blog, but clearly it was a God thing, and I will continue to pray for you, each day, until forever! ;)

mandajane32 said...

I know I don't know you very well, but I read your blog OFTEN. You are very loved, and keep blogging as you do because some days...YOU are the one holding US up. You're one strong chica! <3