Monday, July 2, 2012

Do they ever speak our names?

I read a post on a blog today from an adoptive mother as she referenced her child's birth mother.

She talked about how they talk about her in daily conversation.  How her photo is on their mantle.  She is just one of a multitude of family members who they hold dear in their hearts.

Makes me wonder.  Does Brit even hear the words adopted?  Does she know that she grew in someone else's tummy?  Does she hear the words that her birth family love her very much?  Do they ever look at the books of photos that we have sent and tell her who the people in the pictures are?

Unfortunately, I am going to guess I know the answer to those questions.


7 comments:

birthmothertalks said...

They probably don't and that's sad. I hope the future brings better days for your relationship with them and Brit.

Allison said...

I'm really not sure if I've left a comment before and I don't remember how I found your blog. But, I just wanted to tell you that my husband and I are on the other side - we are trying to adopt. But, I thank you for writing from your perspective. It really makes me think what kind of relationship I'd love to have with our birthparents. I'm sorry that you aren't getting that. :(

Debbie said...

I hope for Brit's sake they do. We always have with our daughter and at 4 she's starting to use adoption in her play talks openly about her birthmom. I can't imagine it any different.

Vertical Mom said...

I'm sorry, Lisa. You deserve better and despite what they do, Brit will some day want a relationship with you and it will be sweet and precious. It will.

Anonymous said...

Sadly, most adopters are too threatened by natural parents to acknowledge us. I am certain my son's adopters and their families never spoke my name. I was the woman they would rather forget, even thought they fed me so much B.S. about how "respected and admired" me so before they got my son. They show their true colors after all is said and done and it is not how they portrayed themselves to be.

Allison, they aren't and will not be "your" birth parents if you ever adopt. They will be the natural parents of the child you adopt and yes, they will be in anguish. I don't think too many adopters are much too concerned about that.

The Annessa Family said...

Always know that post I wrote could not have been written without knowing you and your story.

Brooke
www.MarvelousLoveBlog.com

Carol said...

Hi, I came upon your blog becasue you commented on an adoption site. I'm an adoptive mom and I love your insight to my son's mommy jenny's side. She's not very articulate with her feelings so it's nice to read what others are feeling.