Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Keep your open adoption alive and positive by keeping your promises

I smiled today as I saw a picture of  an Easter care package that Lindsey sent to her children's birth families this year.  The personal items she includes just melt my heart.

The time and thought she puts into all of the care packages she sends to her children's first families simply amazes me.  Lindsey is that super mom you want so badly to hate because her awesomeness just doesn't seem attainable. (Sorry Lindsey if you are reading this.  But it's true.)

Lindsey obviously has the spiritual gift of GIFT GIVING.  So I comfort myself knowing that my spiritual gifts are different (SERVICE is mine).

But anyway...

Here is what I loved about her post today.  She posts pictures about her care packages as a way to encourage adoptive parents to consider doing something similar so that their child's first families will feel valued and loved.  

She closes her blog post today with this line.  I have underlined my very favorite part of it that I think could stand alone, without any reference to gift giving. 

"I hope this gives you some ideas (pin it for next year!) and encourages you to keep your open adoption alive and positive by keeping your promises."

I wish every potential adoptive parent was required to spend time in counseling with adoptive mothers like her.  The adoption world would be a much better place.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

A great article about why open adoption is important

Please take a minute to read this.  Marisa is so succinct. She absolutely GETS open adoption and why it matters for her kids.

Still here, and even happy

Looking back, most of my posts are melancholy at best.

But, since this is my adoption blog, and my experiences with adoption have been difficult for me to process, it is probably understandable.

I am finding that when I am quiet in the blogosphere, it is mostly because I am so busy in real life, that I don't take time to blog.

That is true now.

The boys are keeping us exceedingly busy with their sports schedules. BF and I are preparing his house for our permanent family blending (read - trying to finish the basement in 1 hour increments of time). And work always keeps us busy.  That busyness is a good thing when it comes to dealing with my adoption loss.  It keeps the mind working on other things, and keeps me from diving into those deep, dark places of grief.

My happy thought for the week has been that we are expecting our book to arrive in the mail any day now.  I created a photo book of our visit with Brit so we could have it at our house.  It was fun to make and now I can't wait to share it with our kiddos.

I had created and ordered a Pic.aboo photo book for Brit right after her visit.  It had already delivered to our house and we mailed it with an Easter card to her last week.  We also included cards and small Easter books for each of the twins.

Last night I was telling BF that our book should be here any day and he was almost as anxious to get it as I am.  Then, I said something very catty, which in retrospect wasn't very nice, albeit true.  I looked at him and said "I'm so surprised Brit's parents haven't emailed us to thank us for the Easter package we sent them."  To which he and I both exchanged knowing glances and we both chuckled.

I share this only to say, at least I can laugh now.  We have resigned ourselves to knowing this is how our relationship works, and so when things that hurt come up, instead of fighting it, we try to laugh it off since we know that we can't change it and we must accept it at face value.