Thursday, January 20, 2011

Not much to say

Not too much to report today.  Yesterday was my birthday and for some reason I thought maybe Brit's mom would send an email or a note.  That didn't happen.  Actually, I take that back.  She did send an email reply to one I sent her on Monday about a mutual acquaintance of ours whose husband had a brain tumor removed.  She thanked me for the update.  And to be honest, it was a nice light hearted email.  Just a couple of sentences, but I figure any correspondence from her is better than none.

I try to keep my interactions with Brit's mom light hearted and non-chalant.  I know that there is a huge white elephant that stands between the two of us and meaningful conversation.  I try not to dwell on the conversations that we had prior to Brit's birth about how we would always be friends.  I know things change.  I just wish they hadn't.

So now I wait for my January email update with pictures.  I am so very glad I get that.  So many birthmothers don't.  So as sorry as I feel for myself and how our relationship hasn't developed like I thought it would, I do remember that I am still very fortunate to have what I do get.


A Life Being Lived said...

The updates and pictures help me immensely! Happy (belated) birthday. Mine was in October and I would have loved a note or a picture but to be honest I don't think my daughter's parents even know my birthdate. I don't think any less of them, but this year (the first year)the only thing that would have made it a happy day would have been a quick text photo or something. It's hard to miss someone constantly, bue the ongoing contact makes a huge difference.

LisaAnne said...

I agree with the constant ache of missing someone. I can't help but think how much easier it would be for me if I could touch her. Or to know that I would see her soon. But the waiting and not knowing when they will decide to let us see her is so hard.

I can imagine how your birthday would have felt. I also kept thinking how that would have been the best present ever but it wasn't reality. And we go on.

Thanks for the post. It is nice to hear from someone who understands.