I have been asked from time to time if getting regular updates causes me more pain than not hearing or seeing would.
The answer is an unequivocal NO!
I live for the 25th of every month.
Just the idea that I will see what she looks like now and hear how she has changed makes me nearly crazy with anticipation the entire week before an update.
The weeks of not knowing are what hurt my heart the most. The deafening silence is what is painful.
Then we get a picture like this and I melt for a while.
So right now I am thinking about where I might be tomorrow when the email comes in. Will it be during the day? Will it be from her mom or dad? What kind of pictures will they include? Did she like the Christmas presents we sent? How big is she now? What does she say? What does she play with?
The questions swirl in my head. I am so glad that within 24 hours I will know the answers to at least some of them. It's like getting a peek into her little world.
And I will read that email at least 50 times over the course of the next 30 days. Because that is my only connection to her right now.