Thursday, August 30, 2012

Just trying to remember to breathe

BF got a call from Brit's father yesterday.

BF asked him to respond to us in a letter because it felt it wasn't fair that he was only to him and not to both of us.

I have not stopped crying for the past 18 hours.

I have to remember to just breathe.

19 comments:

Rebecca Hawkes said...

Thinking of you, Lisa! Holding you with care in my heart!

birthmothertalks said...

I really hope they were calling to be more open to even talking about opening up more of a relationship.

LisaAnne said...

Unfortunately they are not tears of joy.

Rebecca Hawkes said...

:-(

I am honestly so tired of all the grief and heartbreak that adoption causes. On both sides. So much pain!

Jenn said...

Oh Lisa... I'm so sorry! (((hugs)))

Nan said...

I am so sorry. My hearts breaks for you and for your sweet daughter. I will keep praying for you and them.

Anne said...

Sending cyber hugs...

theyalllived said...

Oh Lisa. I don't have the words. I'm am incredibly sorry for you and your family.

I can not understand the fear they have in including you in her life.

Thinking of you

Anonymous said...

My heart breaks for you.
I'm know why I'm anti-adoption for so many reasons. It's not the answer for a temporary problem, because it's forever and the pain is unbearable. It will always hurt.
I hope you can share the details of the phone call/letter. I care about you so much.
Thinking of you.

Janine said...

Still praying Lisa. I am so sorry. Do they have any reason other than fear? (you dont have to answer that if you dont want to) Hugs

Vertical Mom said...

Is it possible for you guys to sit down and talk this out in person? There is so much opportunity for misunderstanding in letters and so much time between clarification. UGH! This breaks my heart for you and BF, Lisa!!! I wish I could be an arbitrator for you as a b-mom and an a-mom.

amelia said...

I'm sorry for my slow brain, if you don't mind me asking, have you got the reply letter? does it mean 'no'? praying for you

Debbie said...

I hope it's not more heart break for you when you receive that letter.
I see you commented that they weren't happy tears so I'm guessing Brit's father shared some with BF and it wasn't positive.
Praying for peace

LisaAnne said...

No, we have not received a letter yet. There were things said to BF yesterday indicating their position. BF pleaded the case for mediation, counseling or a third party intervention.

I will not be sharing the details of the letter, as I am certain the adoptive family wants privacy.

Continue to pray for softened hearts. And pray for my boys. They are crushed watching their mother struggle and in so much pain. They know that this adoption relationship is not what they expected either and they just don't understand why they have been cut out of having a relationship with Brit.

D said something so painful to me this week, that made me realize they are devastated too.

Janine said...

Will always be praying Lisa. I am pleased BF asked for a letter. one day Britt may want to know why you guys were not in her life growing up, and I think its important you have in writing how you tried so desperately hard.

Debbie said...

I am so sorry. Breaks my heart as an adoptive parent knowing another adoptive parent can cause this much pain and be so afraid to let you, BF and the boys in their life. Although I know it happens all the time I hate that you're going through it.

I've watched my daughter process the loss of her foster sisters and it's been painful to watch. I can't imagine how your boys are handling all of this.

Continuing to pray and believing for a miracle.

birthmothertalks said...

I really didn't think they were tears of joy but wondered if they were just nervous and scared tears. Sorry for all the sorrow.

Km said...

Praying for a miracle!!!!! So sorry for the loss you, your bf and your boys continue to endure.

BumbersBumblings said...

Ditto, Debbie! It is soo hard to see this, Lisa. I struggle with anger every time I think about it, Lisa.

It's like they think they are ostriches. They think they can just stick their heads in the sand and dream that she was never adopted and has no original family and that somehow someday she'll believe that too, but everyone else can see it.

Lisa, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Love you!