Friday, November 30, 2012

Dear Brit

It's been a tough week for me.  I have found myself in tears many days this week missing you fiercely.  We sure wish we could hear the sound of your voice or watch you play in the yard.  Your brothers and I have talked about you several times this week.  I am glad that you are part of the conversations at our house.  We got an email update at the beginning of the week with two new pictures.  Your hair is a very common topic of conversation.  It makes us laugh every time we see it.  You are so stinkin' cute!

Last night while sitting at LanMan's basketball game (just for the record, he is a fantastic basketball player) I was sitting with nana, BF's mom.  I was telling her about something that had happened that day as it related to you.  I can't tell you exactly what it was, but someday I will be able to tell you what a small world it is, especially when it comes to you.  Suffice it to say that people I know see you all the time and will tell me about you and how they see you from time to time.

Anyway, as nana and I were talking she looked at me and said, "I sure thought you were going to be able to have more involvement in Brit's life."  I shook my head and told her we thought so too.

I just want you to know, that we ALL love you very much, and we are counting down the days until your parents decide that we can be allowed more of a relationship with you.  Until then, please know that you were never more than a moment's thought away from all of our minds.

We love you so much!


Anne said...

Such a sweet letter. You know, Brit 's aparents may be good parents, but I don't think they are very good adoptive parents.

Anonymous said...

Lisa - I am so glad you are writing all this in a public forum. So Brit will be able to read it all one day. I love that there is nothing to be hidden on your end, but lots to hide on theirs.

Brit will see it one day, if she isn't poisoned. Which still could happen.

I'm glad to see the stories you chose not to share before - that walking on eggshells - is gone. It does not do any good to hide the truths of our stories.

More women must be made aware of the 'little' things that seem to mean nothing at the time - but truly are a premonition of the things that will be BIG things in the future. Unsuspecting women, considering adoption MUST be made aware that they need to pay attention and NOT dismiss any actions that do not sit well with them - or non-responses - or crazy actions to avoid you when you actually see them. These things are the most important that are dismissed, as the oxytocin is flowing freely during pregnancy, and they have no idea of what it is like to lose a child and therefore are not cautious.

Keep writing to Brit. Never stop. She will read all this one day.

Brit, you should know that your mom Lisa is an amazing woman who has helped me many times through some pretty dark times. She is my voice of reason. She is NOT an outrageous, erratic person. She has listened and taken advice of other adoptive parents trying to get through to yours, but to no avail. She never wanted to be separated from you, hence this is why she chose them for you, for your brothers. She was NOT thinking of herself, just as many mothers don't. But it has all backfired, and there is nothing that she can do about it.

THIS, is not what it was supposed to be.

Anonymous said...