Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Dear Brit

Dear Brit,

I vaguely remember last year at this time and how very difficult it was to celebrate Halloween without knowing anything about you and what you were doing that day.  Halloween is definitely a holiday for young children so it is a time when we naturally wish we could see you and see the joy you must have during such a fun holiday for kids.

Both last year and this year, as I stood at the door and watched other toddlers walk up and say "Trick or Treat" I wondered what Halloween was like for you.  I wondered what costume you were wearing and how you reacted when you realized you had a bag full of chocolate.  I bet you were delighted.

In our email response back to your parents a couple of days before Halloween I asked your dad  if he might send us a picture or two of you in your Halloween costume.  I kinda hoped he might send one on Halloween so we could enjoy seeing you all dressed up.  So far we haven't gotten one, but maybe he will include a picture with the November email update.

I want you to know how often we talk about you at our house.  I know I have told you before that we keep pictures of you up in the living room.  But we also say your name often.

A funny thing happened just this Sunday that brought a huge smile to my face.

A few weeks ago we put together gift bags for you and your brother and sister.  In them we put fall themed toys, coloring books, DVDs of your favorite show Oomi Zoomi, dress up clothes and masks, and even some snacks.  One of the gifts we put in the bag was a simple little jack o lantern cup.  We put a cup for each of you in your individual bags.  But the package of the cups had 4.  So we kept one cup at our house.

As I put the cup in our cupboard, I said to your brothers L and D that when they drank out of that cup they could remember you.  I said it in passing, and didn't make a big deal of it.  Honestly I wasn't even sure they heard me.

But on Sunday, L was getting water out of the refrigerator while I was in the laundry room getting clothes out of the dryer.  And out of no where he said your name.  Just your name.  Nothing else.  I stopped what I was doing and peeked my head around the corner and asked him what he just said.  He looked at me and held up the cup and said "Brit" and he smiled from ear to ear.

It made me smile too.

We all love you very much and miss you.  We can't wait until we have a personal relationship with you.  Each day that passes gets us closer to that day we hope.

6 comments:

Anne said...

I hope so too!

birthmothertalks said...

This makes me want to cry. So sad and touching at the same time.

Mom422 said...

The makes me want to cry, too. I was only give one picture of my son dressed up for Halloween, all those years ago and was never offered any more.

I have another son who I relished in taking out trick or treating over the past 10 years (he was not as into in this 11th year of his life). It made me very sad that those days of him getting excited about his costumes and going from door to door asking for treats may be behind us; but at least I have those precious memories, something I didn't have with my first born. So much for the 'videotapes' I was offered and promised, too, that never came...

I hope you get to see pics of your beautiful girl in her Halloween costume and/ or trick or treating. I hope that for all first moms who are without their children this year and all subsequent years...

J said...

You're an awesome mom, Lisa, to Brit and your sons.

MommySquared said...

This is so incredibly heartwarming, the letters you are writing to Brit, and then way you are keeping her in your lives even when you don't see her ... I especially love how your boys follow your lead ...

wsbirthmom said...

Left me in a puddle. Watching our children miss their sibling is pure hell.