I want to start writing you letters so some day you can know how often I thought about you and so you won't have missing years from when you didn't have a relationship with us. I hope I can keep up, but even if they are intermittent, at least there will be some.
Today I want to start with a letter to let you know how we remember you at our house. Obviously, you are not a visitor to our home with any frequency. Since we only have gotten the opportunity to see you twice, we keep your visible presence with us the only way we have, and that is through pictures.
So I thought I would tell you about the picture of you on the end table in the living room. It sits right next to the couch where BF and I sit to watch TV, work on the computer, and just generally relax. The photo sits closest to where BF sits, because we always sit in the same spots. (When you get to know BF, you will realize that is common for him - he likes consistency.)
Each month your parents send us 3-4 pictures of you in an email. The email tells us about your development and often your dad adds a funny story that I'm sure will embarrass you someday when you read them. The photos they attach are usually from the previous month and they give us an idea of what you look like now. As you can imagine, the change from one month to the next is amazing since you are still so young and little people grow so fast!
Generally, I make a collage from the pictures they send and I have it printed as an 8x10 photo. I put the updated collage in the frame by the couch every month. Usually I have the photo printed the very same day that we get the email from your parents, because I am always so excited to show your brothers the newest pictures of you.
But this month, I did something a little bit different. Instead of a collage photo, I created an 8x10 of just one of your photos, which I also had printed as a black and white print. It turned out amazing and looks absolutely beautiful in our living room. Because it looked so good, I decided to do the same to another photo we got last month. It too is gorgeous.
When I asked BF which one he wanted in the frame, he looked at them both and said that he loves both of them so he thought we should just alternate one picture per week. I loved the idea.
Last night was the first time I switched to the second photo. I grabbed the frame as we were all sitting down in the living room after a long night at the baseball field, and BF looked at me, smiled and said "Time to switch the picture?" I nodded and switched it out and set it back on the table.
This picture is the most amazing close up of you smiling from ear to ear. Because it is in black and white, it is very dramatic to see. Once I set it back on the table I looked at your brothers and said, "Brit is watching you guys, look at her laugh!"
While we wish you were here with us more often than you are, at least we see your smiling face every day. And know that it brings a smile to OUR faces.
We love you!