This weekend I saw a post on a birth mother's support group wall that I sometimes visit.
The birth mother had just been told that the adoptive parents were not yet 'comfortable' with their son meeting her (the birth mother) and his older brother. The adopted child at hand is 17 years old. 78 days from being 18, when the child, who has already contacted his birth family, will be allowed to establish a relationship with them.
Obviously I am not privy to all of the dynamics involved here.
But here is the thought that kept running though my mind.
If you are not comfortable with your child meeting his/her birth family, don't adopt.
Because your child is the genetic match to his birth family. You don't have to like the choices that they made, but you do have to acknowledge that your child comes from another family. Your child probably looks like them. May even act like them.
And I wonder if you are uncomfortable with knowing your child's family of birth, are you completely accepting of who your child is? Because he/she is the sum of many things. Things you have taught in your home, and things that may just be part of his/her genetics.
It is all important.
If you are not willing to accept that part of your child's life, maybe adoption is not the best choice.
Just a thought.