Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Valentine package

Dear Brit,

We got an email from your dad last night telling us what you are up to these days.  Sounds like you have finally mastered the big girl pants. Hooray for no more diapers!

I chuckled as I read about you and your little brother emptying out the dresser and putting all the clothes in the crib.  Sounds like the kind of thing that would happen in a house full of toddlers.

Your dad also said that you are quite the chatty girl now.  And your response to everything is "really".

But by far our favorite line in the entire email was when he told us you have an imaginary chicken that you chase through the house.  I laughed and laughed when I heard that.

I looked up at BF and I said "I wonder who she gets THAT from!"

He immediately looked back and me and said "She gets her curly hair from me, and her eyes from me, but there is absolutely no question that she gets chasing imaginary chickens through the house from YOU!"

He's probably right.

I hope you got your Valentine's Day package that we sent to you.  We just love picking out special things for you and we delight in imagining you playing with them, reading them, wearing them or eating them.

The entire package of Valentine fun
The chocolates taped to a Valentine plate
 This time I included chocolates, which I hope brought you great joy.  It is funny to me because I don't like chocolate at all so I don't even think about sending it to you, but from what I have heard, you seem to love chocolate enough to make up for chocolate that I don't eat!

Our card to you
Your hair clips

We also included hair clips and piggy tail holders, not that you like to wear them, but we felt like we should at least send them to try to help you tame that crazy mass of curls that we love so much!

Only one more month until your third birthday.  It is amazing how you are growing up.  We anxiously await being able to have a visit with you again.  And more than anything we long for the day that we can have an ongoing relationship with you.  We keep telling ourselves that each day that passes is another day closer to that relationship we long for.  We want you to be able to know first hand the love we have for you.

Thinking about and loving you from a distance.


Anonymous said...

Beautiful post, and beautiful package. Just curious, did you send anything for the siblings this time?

LisaAnne said...

Interesting that you noticed. No, this time we did not send any gifts for the siblings. We always have previously, but BF and I talked about it before we sent Christmas gifts and he feels very strongly that until we are acknowledged in any way by Brit's parents, then we will just acknowledge Brit. I had a hard time with it at first, but I understand his point. We don't get any interaction with them except the monthly emails. We have never received a card for our birthdays, a holiday, or for any reason. Our children are rarely acknowledged even in passing in an email. So for now, we have determined our focus will simply be on our daughter. I hope that will change someday when we have a more familial relationship.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for responding! I'm sure you've thought of this, but I would be concerned that her parents might be less likely to give her the gifts if there is nothing for the other kids (in an effort to prevent fighting, jealousy, or Brit feeling "different"). Just a thought. I'm sure you and BF have thought this through carefully and made the best decision for your family.

LisaAnne said...

I think you are so right.

I know that we struggle with equality at our house too. We have a blended family with children who have different grandparents, different parents, and therefore things are not always equal.

My oldest child has a wealthy father who indulges him, BF's boys have a mother who has good financial resources along with a set of doting grandparents (BF's parents) who are intimately involved in our lives, and my two youngest have a dad who rarely gives them anything. So we have to figure out ways to keep equality of gifts from being an issue.

Truthfully, I want to send gift packages for all of them. I want to be a family member of theirs. I want to be just as supportive of the little ones as we are of Brit. We are generous people by nature so it goes against our first instinct to exclude anyone.

The hard part is knowing that they do not consider us family with regard to their actions toward us.

We have never met their other children. So we don't know anything about them, except for interactions they have with Brit which make the monthly update.

It is a tough position to be in. I hope it all works out before the kids are old enough to notice. Right now the twins are not even two years old so they probably don't know.

I wish there was a magic wand I could wave.

Lisa J. said...

Praying that your birthday visit goes well this year. My little girl turned three in December--they change do much in a year--and I can't wait to see how things go. It's such a sweet age; I hope things get better, but I fear they aren't due to your last couple of posts.

Thinking of you.