Monday, February 25, 2013

Long time no post

Yes, I am alive and well.  Thank you to everyone who left comments and sent me private messages.  It was so nice to see that so many people even noticed that I have been quiet.

Me, my sister and our friend
on our weekend getaway
There is no dramatic reason for the lack of posting.  It is just the reality of a very busy life with our boys.  My every minute seems to be filled with ball practices, games and meetings of every kind.  We also had some sad days as one of my son's friends was killed in a car accident.  BF and I went away for a weekend with my sister and some friends, which was great fun.  There just always seems to be something that keeps us so busy.  But all in all, we have been well and just living and loving each other.

I have been a bit more active on the FB side of adoption land lately.  I am part of several adoption related groups and I have also been researching and reading so much about adoption, specifically how adoption affects adoptees.  One of my favorite new blogs is Adoptee Restoration.  The author, Deanna Shrodes, is amazing.  She says it like it is, which is often not how our society wants to hear it.  I am always anxious for her next post.  She is bold and outspoken, and I think she seriously ROCKS.  I love her Christian perspective on adoption.  Very different from what you would expect.  If you are involved in adoption in any way I suggest you follow her.  It is challenging to me every time I read her blog posts.

During my quiet time away from my blog, I have also been chatting back and forth with some of my adoptive mom friends and a couple of birthmother friends.  It seems like it has been a really tough month for lots of us.

I will say that one of my super amazing adoptive mom friends did have a great experience when her daughter's birthmother emailed back after months of complete silence.  It was so wonderful and heartbreaking at the same time to see how my friend was longing for a connection to her daughter's first family and how the silence was just killing her.  Then the email came in, followed by an exchange of text messages and now hopefully there can be continued conversation between the two of them.

This particular adoptive mother and I were texting each other and she shared with me the text exchange she had just had with her daughter's first mother and I will admit, I cried as I read one of the messages she sent to her daughter's first mother.  She said "Well let me know if you have any questions or want a picture or something.  You're her mom too, we want you in our family!"

Yes, an adoptive mom said that to her daughter's first mother.

And it isn't just lip service.  This adoptive mom has over and over again talked to me about how she doesn't know how to have more interaction with her daughter's first family.  She has written letters and sent emails and she just sits and waits to hear back.  She desperately wants her daughter to know her other family too.  That is one lucky little girl.  She has a mom who gets it.  Her mom wants her to feel whole, knowing all of the things that make her who she is.  I am so glad she has become my friend.

So with that, I am going to sign off for today, because I need to head home to my boys.  But I have a blog post that I have been dying to write about birthmothers that I may try to sit down and sort through this evening.

And above all else, I will sit with my phone in my hand just waiting for the email update, since today is the 25th...

BF and me under the neon lights on our trip
My sweet LanMan after his
last basketball game of the season


Deb said...

I long to know how to have better communication with our daughter's birth mom too some days.
It's an unusual relationship given the circumstances we came together but we are all family because of one special little girl and committed to each other for her.

Hoping you get that update before the night is over so you can enjoy seeing your precious little one.

Off to check out the blog you linked now.

Deanna Shrodes said...

I just saw this post! How sweet of you to mention my blog. (((((Lisa)))))

Love you