I just looked and it has been over 3 weeks since my last post. To be honest, it has been nearly that long since I have really even sat down and read other's blogs. I feel so out of the loop!
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| Me and my sister Amber in CA |
During that time I have been living the busy life of a sports mom, full time employee and even had a couple of dates with the BF. Most notably I was out of town in California last week for a full 8 days for a work conference. I got to visit my sister who lives in Hollywood. I rarely see her so it was great to have a one on one visit with her in her element. She always comes back here to visit us. Our visit went really well. BF was with me for half of the trip and we were able to enjoy some couple time which was great too. Being away from the boys for a full week was hard. But everyone seemed to live through it so I guess that is a successful trip!
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| Yes, we met the Little Person version of Mr. T while in Hollywood. Imagine that! |
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| At the conference there was a wildlife booth that allowed you to hold snakes. This little guy is a python who loved wrapping up around my neck and nestling in my hair. |
Nothing new on the adoption front. I did have a heartbreaking conversation with D (my 11 year old) the other day in the car. Out of the blue he asked me if Brit's parents offered to "sell her back to us" for 2 million dollars, would we pay that? I told him absolutely, without hesitation. He asked how we would do that because we don't have $2mil and I told him that when you want something badly enough you make it happen. I did follow up with him to make sure he understood that we did not "sell" Brit to her adoptive parents. He assured me that he knew that, but he was just wondering. Apparently he thinks about how things would be different if she was with us more than I know.
Brit's parents have indicated to us that they are reading my blog so that is another reason I have been quiet for a while. Apparently some of my posts offend them and their friends from time to time. Honestly, after reading back over my blog posts I don't find them to be terribly offensive, just truthful perspective from my side of being a birth mother who wishes her adoption circumstances were different. They were also clear that there will be no more pictures of Brit shared with us if I don't stop posting them. So for those of you who love the Brit pictures you will just have take my word for it, she gets cuter by the day.
BF and I put together a fall/Halloween gift bag for Brit and both her brother and sister. I dropped them off at a local business in their town so they could pick them up there. I just couldn't justify the shipping cost for gift bags with dollar store presents in them. I did text and ask my friend who works there and I asked if they ever came and picked them up and she said they did. I'm glad. I hope the kids like the activities.
While we were in California, BF and I also got Brit and her siblings each a Mickey/Minnie Mouse hat. We also threw in a sweatshirt for Brit because it matched her hat. Those items I did ship since I was in CA at the time. The shipping was as much as I paid for all three hats! Crazy.
Since I have nothing significant to say I will end with just a few fun pictures from life lately.
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| The little Princess I watch every weekend laughing in the backseat of my car. She will be 2 in December! |
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| BF's oldest son is a runner (like his dad). He just finished cross country season while also playing competitive soccer. |
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| D practicing his most serious football face before a game. |
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| BF's youngest son (blonde on rt) after a football game |
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| D and my niece creating bracelets at a local bead store this past weekend. |
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| My sweet nephew also made his own bracelet. |
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| My adorable niece who has the sweetest freckles you have ever seen. |
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| This is how my boys look most of the time. Eyes fixed on their electronics. |
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| LanMan (laying across the couch) and BF's oldest son (red shirt with eyes closed on couch) have the same first hour class. This picture was taken during class down time. Looks like fun to me! |
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| A girl in LanMan's class has ovarian cancer (horrible!) and all the kids took picture of heart hands to send to her to let her know they think about her. |
15 comments:
Well, if they're offended - then they shouldn't read. You've said absolutely nothing offensive about them. Perhaps they realize the selfish disgusting way they've acted to you and your children by adopting your child with an agreement of an open adoption and then have purposely kept her away from you and almost ceased contact with you. I can tell you that these actions are not without consequence and will be at the detriment of Brit. When she gets older and sees this she will definitely have something to say - I, as an adoptee who grew up in a similar situation, know this for a fact.
I was just thinking it had been awhile since I'd read your blog so I popped over to check it out. Not trying to SWF you, but come on! That is almost like ESP*N* or something. ;)
I love, love, love the mickey stuff for the kids and the fact that you buy for all three is totally amazing. I am praying for the whole situation.
Jean
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this type of situation. I don't understand it at all - It almost seems as if they are in some type of denial about their adoption. I'm sure that Brit will grow up knowing that you wanted a relationship and the only people that held her back were her adoptive parents. So sad.
Sooo happy you had a great trip with your sister! You both are adorable!
You know as an adoptive momma, Brit's parents essentially threatening you with no more pictures, if you continue to post them here, really rubs me the wrong way. There was a similar question on the Adoptive Families about birthparents posting pictures on FB once the parents shared pictures. Why wouldn't you want to share pictures? You have right to, you gave birth to that beautiful little girl and made an incredibly hard choice for her. If I were you, and clearly I'm not, I'd make my blog private. You shouldn't have to worry about what you write. These are your feelings and you shouldn't have to feel like they have the upperhand in everything with this adoption. It's just wrong how they go about everything with this "open" adoption.
Lastly, I couldn't agree more with the anonymous poster that commented first. She said it perfectly.
Sending lots of adoptive momma hugs your way. XXXX
I totally agree with all the comments above. I'm also an adoptive Mom, and I just can't understand why Brit's aparents are so threatened and insecure. I'm so sorry, ugg....
"They were also clear that there will be no more pictures of Brit shared with us if I don't stop posting them."
How they could be so cruel and selfish to someone who lost while they gained is incomprehensible. That is your daughter, but that is the problem obviously, isn't it?
They really are a selfish couple of people. I'm glad you and the boys are ok, but I simply cannot get past the idea that you gave them your daughter -- and they won't let you see her or share pictures of her.
Also, they're sharing your blog with their friends? Seriously?
And their friends are offended? That's so sad. Great though, that their friends matter so much to them. So thoughtful. Wouldn't it be nice if they applied that level of care and consideration to their relationship with you and the rest of Brit's family?
Can you tell I'm seething mad on your behalf? If I were you, Lisa, I'd make the blog private. You know who your friends and regular commenters are. Brit's parents are concerned about privacy yet don't mind passing your blog URL around their friends? Good grief.
These are some really horrible rotten people you are dealing with Lisa. Its really ashame their true colors didn't come out before the adoption was finalized.
I am afraid your walking on thin ice and any action you could take could result in them closing the adoption. So unfair of them to treat you this way.
Well, looks like the other gals pretty much covered what I was gonna say. I'm an adoptive mom who, after four years, is still wishing that my son's mom would acknowledge him as being remotely important to her. I know that one day he will need to know that, and I never want him to think that I hindered a relationship between the two of them.
Hang in there, Lisa. That's all I can say.
Although there are SO many things I want to say that basically just reiterate what the above comments have stated, I won't! I will just continue to pray. God can change this and I know He will!! :)
I'm beyond appalled at what they said to you. I don't even have the words.
I realize this space is such a source of support and love for you but like above, I'd be tempted to change to an anonymous one and password protect posts so the little that you have access to Britt does't get put in jeopardy.
Ugh...Lisa my heart breaks for you.
The problem is, if you make the site private to offer yourself some privacy from whomever they choose to share your blog with, they could well close the adoption anyway.
The logic being ''we can't see what you're posting, so we're going to close the adoption in case you're doing something we don't like''.
Evidently, they value biological ties very much and are threatened by you guys. Evidently, they don't want contact, nor believe or care if it's in the best interest of their daughter -- and thus it seems like they could close the adoption anyway, honestly, because they find it all so ''offensive''.
I really worry that they'll use the littlest excuse to close the small window you do have into Brit's world, simply because it's convenient for them.
I dont have the words to express how I feel. But I will continue to pray (((Hugs)))
oh, i'm so sorry, lisa. as an adoptive mom in two open adoptions, i wish they understood that what they are doing is not okay. it's wrong for you, it's wrong for b, and it's wrong for them because they're missing out on what could be a great connection with you and your wonderful family. i know they must love b, and they must be scared, but they need to work through that fear and understand that she will not love them less just because she has more people to love and to love her!
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