Still here, and even happy

Looking back, most of my posts are melancholy at best.

But, since this is my adoption blog, and my experiences with adoption have been difficult for me to process, it is probably understandable.

I am finding that when I am quiet in the blogosphere, it is mostly because I am so busy in real life, that I don't take time to blog.

That is true now.

The boys are keeping us exceedingly busy with their sports schedules. BF and I are preparing his house for our permanent family blending (read - trying to finish the basement in 1 hour increments of time). And work always keeps us busy.  That busyness is a good thing when it comes to dealing with my adoption loss.  It keeps the mind working on other things, and keeps me from diving into those deep, dark places of grief.

My happy thought for the week has been that we are expecting our Shu.tterf.ly book to arrive in the mail any day now.  I created a photo book of our visit with Brit so we could have it at our house.  It was fun to make and now I can't wait to share it with our kiddos.

I had created and ordered a Pic.aboo photo book for Brit right after her visit.  It had already delivered to our house and we mailed it with an Easter card to her last week.  We also included cards and small Easter books for each of the twins.

Last night I was telling BF that our book should be here any day and he was almost as anxious to get it as I am.  Then, I said something very catty, which in retrospect wasn't very nice, albeit true.  I looked at him and said "I'm so surprised Brit's parents haven't emailed us to thank us for the Easter package we sent them."  To which he and I both exchanged knowing glances and we both chuckled.

I share this only to say, at least I can laugh now.  We have resigned ourselves to knowing this is how our relationship works, and so when things that hurt come up, instead of fighting it, we try to laugh it off since we know that we can't change it and we must accept it at face value.