Tuesday, December 20, 2011

To all who have read my blog, commented or just prayed silently for me,

I appreciate all that you have and continue to do to encourage me.

You have all been so kind and supportive, thank you.

I will admit that I have done little but cry for almost 24 hours.  But the few moments of joy that I am able to salvage from my day generally involve words of encouragement from all of you.

I am trying very hard to hand this over to God because I am not doing a good job of bearing the burden on my own.

Yet, I find that being here, in this ocean of grief is a hard place to leave when you don't see anything but ocean all around.

Thank you again for the prayers, for all of us.

Truly that is the only thing that will change what exists here.

I cannot do it on my own power.  I cannot WILL someone to extend me grace.  I cannot beg for someone to WANT to have a relationship with me.

So I have to let God handle that. 


m&msmommy said...

I continue to pray for you, every single day. Although I don't have much more to offer you than prayers, because I have NO idea how you feel or what you're going through, please know that prayers are sent to God, each and every day for you and your family! :)

birthmothertalks said...

I have been there and really get the feeling of the adoptive parents just not wanting the same thing that you want. At times, I let their unwilliness to open up thier hearst to me make me think that I am a bad person as in not worth investing the time in. Please, don't beat yourself up with that. I haven't have an open or semi open adoption so I can't really know if I would have been satisfied with what little they give you. I would probably have to say that I would have wanted a more meaningful relationship too. What I wish is that my daughter's parents wouldn't view me as a threat and understand that I do care for them. How can I not? I have thought about sending the family a Christmas card but not sure if I will or not.

Lu Holt said...

I'm sure the picture of the water represents all the tears you have shed over your heartbreak.

I enjoy reading your blog. I'm a supporter in your efforts. I believe adoptive parents who agree to an open adoption then go back on their word should have a consequence.

Birth-mother's deserve legal rights.

I am a birth gramma. My daughter wouldn't have chosen parents for her son had they not agreed to open adoption. We trusted that they would keep their end of the verbal agreement. We've been truly blessed. Even though it's open, there's still pain. It's hard not to see your own flesh and blood. The most important thing to me is that he knows how much he is loved. In time, he will realize it more and more.

HOPE~ NEVER give up! I don't understand why? Open adoption isn't for everyone, but for those whom it works for, it's a good thing.

I wish your daughter's parents could read your blog. They would rethink their plan. I think it would be so beneficial for Britt to see and know you.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you everyday. May your sadness be lifted today so you can feel better. The holiday's are a hard time. You are a wonderful person.

Anonymous said...

Hey Lisa, It's boxing day now. I hope you got through Christmas ok. I pray that 2012 will be a better year for you. I just want to reach through the computer screen and hug you ....from one first mama to another.