The Valentine package

Dear Brit,

We got an email from your dad last night telling us what you are up to these days.  Sounds like you have finally mastered the big girl pants. Hooray for no more diapers!

I chuckled as I read about you and your little brother emptying out the dresser and putting all the clothes in the crib.  Sounds like the kind of thing that would happen in a house full of toddlers.

Your dad also said that you are quite the chatty girl now.  And your response to everything is "really".

But by far our favorite line in the entire email was when he told us you have an imaginary chicken that you chase through the house.  I laughed and laughed when I heard that.

I looked up at BF and I said "I wonder who she gets THAT from!"

He immediately looked back and me and said "She gets her curly hair from me, and her eyes from me, but there is absolutely no question that she gets chasing imaginary chickens through the house from YOU!"

He's probably right.

I hope you got your Valentine's Day package that we sent to you.  We just love picking out special things for you and we delight in imagining you playing with them, reading them, wearing them or eating them.

The entire package of Valentine fun

The chocolates taped to a Valentine plate

 This time I included chocolates, which I hope brought you great joy.  It is funny to me because I don't like chocolate at all so I don't even think about sending it to you, but from what I have heard, you seem to love chocolate enough to make up for chocolate that I don't eat!

Our card to you

Your hair clips

We also included hair clips and piggy tail holders, not that you like to wear them, but we felt like we should at least send them to try to help you tame that crazy mass of curls that we love so much!

Only one more month until your third birthday.  It is amazing how you are growing up.  We anxiously await being able to have a visit with you again.  And more than anything we long for the day that we can have an ongoing relationship with you.  We keep telling ourselves that each day that passes is another day closer to that relationship we long for.  We want you to be able to know first hand the love we have for you.

Thinking about and loving you from a distance.

Dear Brit

Dear Brit,

Just wanted to let you know that I bought your first birthday gift this weekend.  Yes, I realize your birthday isn't until 2 months from now, but I just loved it.

BF and I talked about it on Saturday and we are excited to customize it for you.

But my favorite part is that it is sitting on top of my dresser and I see it all the time.  It is a little reminder of you.  And the thought that it will sit on your dresser someday soon makes me smile.

We love you so much!

Dear Brit

Dearest Brit,

Usually when I sit down to write you a letter, I have something in particular in mind.  Today I do not have anything to share.  Honestly, I am writing because you have been on my mind without ceasing for weeks now.  My heart aches with love for you that I am unable to share with you in person.

I know the holidays have alot to do with that, because that is when we want to be with our extended family.  And obviously we have no interaction with you at all at this point.  Needless to say, we miss you.  We wish so desperately that we could have a visit with you during that time just so we could let you know how much we love you too.  The kind of visit that families have during the holidays.  We continue to hope and pray that someday soon that will happen.

We did send you your Christmas gifts and we hope that you got to enjoy them.  I loved picking out your outfit.  BF, J (your oldest brother) and I all went to a special store called Sparkle and spent all kinds of time looking for the perfect thing to get you.  It was funny to watch the big boys looking at tutus, sparkle shirts, tights and shoes.  For what it's worth, BF found the adorable little shoes for you and they might be my favorite part of the outfit.  He was pretty proud that he found shoes to match the crazy shirt we got you.  I hope you love them as much as we did.  They might be a little big right now, but I'm sure they are still fun for dress up.  We would sure love to see a picture of you wearing the outfit someday.

We all three laughed out loud as I picked out the bow to include with the outfit because we have never seen you with any kind of fancy hair bow, and your hair is crazy and out of control.  I had never seen a white blonde afro until we saw yours.  Your hair cracks us up every time we see a picture of it

I was also so very proud of BF again this year because he picked out your LeapPad and accessories to go with it.  He was so excited the day he brought it home because he had found online that you could download games from your favorite TV show O.omiZo.omi.  I hope your parents were able to download that for you and I also hope you like using your fancy little electronic pad.  If you ever come to visit, make sure you bring it with you because that is exactly what your brothers do all day long.  They all walk around with their i.Pads, often wearing their own headsets, playing games, or listening to music.  Now that their teachers use the iP.ads for school work, they even use them at night to do their homework.  We are a fully electronic household now!  You would fit in perfectly with your own little device. :)

The little wooden doll set that we sent to you was an impulse buy that we just loved because the character that you dress up has the same name as your middle name.  When I walked by the set in the store I immediately stopped and had to get it for you.  I hope you like dressing her up.  It sure looked like fun.

We have had lots and lots of talk about you around our house the last couple of weeks.  It makes me so happy when we say your name and talk about how we hope our future includes knowing you better.  BF and I have talked ALOT about that lately.  The boys chime in from time to time and will often ask if we have heard anything from your parents.  They too still have hope that maybe soon we might get a little more access to you and your family.  We keep praying.

So as I wrap up today, I thought I would share a few photos with you so you can know what your brothers look like right now.  LanMan and B are both 13 right now and they are as silly as can be.  I love how they are best of friends.  They crack us up every single day.  They are so much fun, and so very funny, especially when they are together.  This is a picture of the the outfits that the two of them wore to our family Christmas celebration.  They wanted to make a holiday statement.  I think they did.  Everyone got a good laugh out of it.

 D won't let me take his picture anymore.  So usually I have to sneak up on him and rarely does the picture turn out.  But this one I was able to snap of him after a basketball game last weekend.  We were at the bowling alley having a huge family gathering because my sister who lives in California was in town for a few days.

Your brother T will always let me take his picture.  This is a piggy bank that he got for Christmas.  He really likes the Kansas City Chiefs which is unfortunate since they can't seem to win games.  Maybe by the time you are older they will be a better team.  We can only hope!

This is a picture of me and 3 of my 4 sisters and our dad.  One of the girls had to work.  The girl with the red hair is the sister from California.  She's the only one who doesn't live here locally with us.  She is an  actress and singer in California.  Just this week she found out they are using a song she recently recorded in a new Disney movie coming out soon.  It has Selena Gomez in it.  We will have to watch for it to come out.  You'll love meeting her someday.  She's so interesting.




My dad also got all of us girls fun hats for Christmas.  This picture has the sister who was missing from the first photo in it (far left), but my sister from California wasn't in town yet when we opened the hats so she is missing from this photo.  One of these days all 5 of us will be together for a group picture!  The baby I am holding is my youngest sister's (the girl sitting next to me) newborn daughter.  We are crazy in love with her and all fight to hold her.

And finally a photo of me and BF.  Sometimes I think he may not ever fully smile.  Bless his heart, he just always looks like smiling is hard for him.  I will tell you that he really is a happy guy, so I'm not quite sure why his smile looks so forced.  I love him anyway. <3


So we hope you know how very much we love you and we are looking forward to the day that we can shower you with that love and include you in some of our special family gatherings.  You are never far from our minds and you are always in our hearts.

We love you so much and can't wait for our relationship to develop with you.

Much love to you,

Lisa and BF

Dear Brit

It seems I have written you so many times over the past couple of weeks.   I guess that I've just had so many things to say to you.  It's probably the holiday season and the focus that the holidays gives us on the people who are important to us, our family members.  So since we cannot talk to you in person, letters it is!

I couldn't wait to sit down today and tell you about what happened last night.  BF did some Christmas shopping after he got off work and while I was gone at Lanman's basketball game.  He was a bit secretive about what he was getting so I assumed it was something for me for Christmas.

However, when I got home, I found a stack of gifts sitting on top of our dresser.  The entire stack was for you.  It was obvious.

So I after I changed clothes, I came out into the living room and told BF that I absolutely loved what he had chosen for you.  All of it is just perfect for you.

He followed me back into the bedroom and started telling me about why he chose what he did.  It was precious to see the sparkle in his eyes as he talked about each thing and how he thought you would be able to use it.

I had to leave the room and tend to Lanman and D, but from the other room I heard BF ask me what your favorite TV show is because he can never remember the name of it.  I shouted back the name of the show, not exactly sure why he wanted to know.

So once I finished with the boys, I walked back into the bedroom where he was still looking up something on the Internet.  He was determined to find something to go along with your gift.  It made my heart so happy to see how determined he was to find just the right thing for you.  I think I may have fallen in love with him even more at that moment just seeing how much it means to him to find just the right thing for you.  It brings tears to my eyes right now just thinking about it.

Anyway, he found what he was looking for and tonight will will order it and combine it with the gift that he already purchased.  My favorite part is that every bit of the gift was BF's idea.  Normally with the boys, I try to help him get ideas, or I will even buy things for him.  But this gift was all him.  No help from me.

And it is perfect.

I can't wait to send it to you.  I wish we could see you open it and play with it, but we will just imagine what that will be like since we will not be able to know.

We love you very much!

Dear Brit

It's been a tough week for me.  I have found myself in tears many days this week missing you fiercely.  We sure wish we could hear the sound of your voice or watch you play in the yard.  Your brothers and I have talked about you several times this week.  I am glad that you are part of the conversations at our house.  We got an email update at the beginning of the week with two new pictures.  Your hair is a very common topic of conversation.  It makes us laugh every time we see it.  You are so stinkin' cute!

Last night while sitting at LanMan's basketball game (just for the record, he is a fantastic basketball player) I was sitting with nana, BF's mom.  I was telling her about something that had happened that day as it related to you.  I can't tell you exactly what it was, but someday I will be able to tell you what a small world it is, especially when it comes to you.  Suffice it to say that people I know see you all the time and will tell me about you and how they see you from time to time.

Anyway, as nana and I were talking she looked at me and said, "I sure thought you were going to be able to have more involvement in Brit's life."  I shook my head and told her we thought so too.

I just want you to know, that we ALL love you very much, and we are counting down the days until your parents decide that we can be allowed more of a relationship with you.  Until then, please know that you were never more than a moment's thought away from all of our minds.

We love you so much!

Dear Brit

Just wanted to write you a quick letter to know how you were a part of our family Thanksgiving, even though you weren't actually present.

I was way ahead this year when it came to Christmas cards and I brought a Christmas card for all of our family members to our family Thanksgiving dinner.  Inside the cards for your grandparents, I had our card with pictures of all the boys and I also included a precious photo of you for each of them.  They loved it! 

We all stood around the kitchen table and talked about how much you look like BF and me.  Your eyes, your hair, your smile.  You are the spitting image of both of us.  Both of your grandmothers studied your face and talked about all the ways that they could see the similarities to our families.

I also brought some extra pictures of you that we laid on the table that we all looked at from time to time.  Even the cousins and your brothers would pick up the photos and talk about how adorable you are.  We all think you are pretty amazing.

We wish that you could know all of us.  And we are holding out hope that someday your parents will allow you to know us.  But just because you don't get to come and spend time with us doesn't mean that we don't talk about you all the time.  We have your pictures everywhere and we let people who visit our house know that the beautiful girl in the photo on our end table is you, our precious daughter.

You are very special to us and we love you very much.  And this Thanksgiving we are thankful for you.  And we continue to hope and pray that soon you will know us too.

We love you so very much and we continue to hold out hope that we will be allowed a relationship with you soon!

Love,

Lisa, BF and all of your extended family

Dear Brit

Dear Brit,

I vaguely remember last year at this time and how very difficult it was to celebrate Halloween without knowing anything about you and what you were doing that day.  Halloween is definitely a holiday for young children so it is a time when we naturally wish we could see you and see the joy you must have during such a fun holiday for kids.

Both last year and this year, as I stood at the door and watched other toddlers walk up and say "Trick or Treat" I wondered what Halloween was like for you.  I wondered what costume you were wearing and how you reacted when you realized you had a bag full of chocolate.  I bet you were delighted.

In our email response back to your parents a couple of days before Halloween I asked your dad  if he might send us a picture or two of you in your Halloween costume.  I kinda hoped he might send one on Halloween so we could enjoy seeing you all dressed up.  So far we haven't gotten one, but maybe he will include a picture with the November email update.

I want you to know how often we talk about you at our house.  I know I have told you before that we keep pictures of you up in the living room.  But we also say your name often.

A funny thing happened just this Sunday that brought a huge smile to my face.

A few weeks ago we put together gift bags for you and your brother and sister.  In them we put fall themed toys, coloring books, DVDs of your favorite show Oomi Zoomi, dress up clothes and masks, and even some snacks.  One of the gifts we put in the bag was a simple little jack o lantern cup.  We put a cup for each of you in your individual bags.  But the package of the cups had 4.  So we kept one cup at our house.

As I put the cup in our cupboard, I said to your brothers L and D that when they drank out of that cup they could remember you.  I said it in passing, and didn't make a big deal of it.  Honestly I wasn't even sure they heard me.

But on Sunday, L was getting water out of the refrigerator while I was in the laundry room getting clothes out of the dryer.  And out of no where he said your name.  Just your name.  Nothing else.  I stopped what I was doing and peeked my head around the corner and asked him what he just said.  He looked at me and held up the cup and said "Brit" and he smiled from ear to ear.

It made me smile too.

We all love you very much and miss you.  We can't wait until we have a personal relationship with you.  Each day that passes gets us closer to that day we hope.

She looks alot like me!

Dear Brit,

We got our monthly email update from your parents two days ago.  The stories your dad tells crack us up.  You are a funny little girl and I am so glad he is able to share the stories so well with us.

When I got the email, your brothers were all gone at sports practices and doing other things.  So I sent a text message to them with your pictures.  They love to get the new pictures which they keep on their phones.  They are very proud that you are their sister.

L and Lisa - See, he even lets me hug him!

As soon as I sent the photos, your brother L sent back a text that said "She looks alot like me!".  And he is right.  L had hair just like yours when he was your age.  However, because he is a boy, we cut his beautiful curls off so he had a 'boy' haircut.  However, if we would have let them go, he would have had the very same huge white blonde 'afro' that you do.  Add to it your beautiful blue eyes, just like his and your brother D, and you are very similar looking. (I will admit, that there are also lots of things about you that remind me of BF too, but I'll tell you about that some other day.)

L is the sweetest young man.  Which is strange for a mom to say about a 13 year old boy.  But he is simply amazing.  He is kind, super funny and he loves his family - alot.  At school every girl says that L is their best friend.  I can't believe how many girls and guys both will post on his Facebook page about how he is their 'bestie'.  Makes a mom proud to know that he is so kind to everyone.

And if you were around, you would probably find that he would be your best friend too.  He loves little kids and they love him because he plays with them.  The little girl we watch on the weekends is desperately in love with L.  She follows him through the house.  He carries her all around.  He plays hilarious chase games with her.  They are a blast to watch.

So I hope that maybe you will also get the same sweet and charming temperament that L has.  Because he is and has been a great kid and I expect he will be an amazing adult someday too.

We all love you very much and think and talk about you every single day!  The boys and I can't wait to get to know you better.

The curls

Brit,

While your curls might be a bit unruly right now, hopefully some day you will embrace the beauty that you have with that head full of think blonde curls.

I know what growing up with curly hair is like (and your aunts have even curlier hair than me, so they REALLY know).  Most of the time I straighten my hair for work or going out.  But sometimes I just let it dry naturally and I let my hair be as wavy/curly as it wants to be.

Today was one of those au naturale days.  I was walking through the office and someone stopped me and said "I love when you leave your hair curly!"  It made me think of you and your bountiful, beautiful blonde curls.

I hope you can love those beautiful curls!

We love you and think about you every single day!

Loving each other

Dear Brit,

I have been thinking lately about how ironic it is that the reason we placed you with another family was because we wanted you to have two parents who were married and who could give you complete undivided attention.

Your birth father and I had been together a very short amount of time when we discovered I was pregnant with you.  We didn't have any idea how things were going to work out between the two of us.  While things seemed good, it was so early in our relationship.  All we knew for certain was that he and I were both trying to figure out how to be single parents to the boys we already had, and we didn't know what the future would hold.

Fast forward 3 years.  He and I are still together.  While there were definitely some bumps in road along the way (the greatest being the emotional toll that your adoption has taken on us), we have figured it out.

Today, I look at your birth father and think to myself how glad I am that we have worked through all of the tough stuff.  I go to bed each night and I am thankful that we stuck it out and because of that, our relationship is stronger than most.  I have never felt such love for someone before.  Each day I find myself more and more in love with him and committed to us.

While it makes me so happy to know that our future will be together, the same thing makes me sad too.  Because we are together and we could have had you with us too.

When we took our first major family vacation last month, I imagined what it would have been like having you riding along with us.  When I watch your brothers interact with the baby that we keep on the weekends, I often see your face.  I can't help but imagine that this is the joy they would have playing with you.

I wish I could go back and make a different decision now that I know, but we cannot take it back.  You are being raised as part of a different family. You don't even know who we are.

But here is what I want you to know.  We love you so much.  And when you are allowed to have a relationship with us, we will be together. You will not have the complication of separated birth parents.  You will get to visit us in the same house, where all of your brothers live(d).  When you look across the table you will see how you look exactly like both of us (because you do look JUST like the younger versions of both of us, curls and all).

While we complicated your life by giving you another set of parents, at least we will be able to offer a small amount of simplicity by being together for you from that point forward.

I am so glad that I am together with your birth father because he is the only other person who can understand the incredible loss I feel.  He is also the only person who can share the incredible amount of love I have for you, because he has it too.  And having all of your brothers together in our home allows us to talk about you, display photos of you, and dream together of the day that you will be more than just a picture on our end table.

We all love you very much.

Your curly hair

Dear Brit,

We had such a busy weekend!  This entire summer has been and will be filled with baseball games and tournaments.  Three of your five brothers are playing baseball.  Two of them on competitive, traveling teams.  And the other brother is coached by BF which takes another level of family commitment.

So Friday night we had the unusual privilege of having a night without baseball games.  It was FANTASTIC.  The best part of it all was that this weekend happens to be our city's annual festival, called Derby Days.  It begins with a parade on Friday evening and is complete with a carnival with all the rides you would expect.  We all gathered together and watched the parade with BF's best friend and his kids, in the unusually hot temperature.  Thankfully this year none of us were marching in the parade, which made it tolerable.

The entire time we were watching the parade march by, the boys kept begging to leave and head straight up to the carnival.  They were very certain that they were missing precious time that could have been spent riding rides!

So the parade ended and we made our way up to the carnival. And that is when the fun began!  Rather than explain, I will just provide photo evidence. 

Then came Saturday.  I went out of town to a tournament with D and his baseball team.  BF and the other boys stayed behind so they could host Trent's 10th birthday party at the roller skating rink.  From what I hear, it was also a great success, despite the fact that your brothers are not very good at roller skating.  I wish I would have seen video!

D's team played two games and we got back home by evening.  D and LanMan wanted to go back to the carnival so we dropped them off (the other two were with their mom) and BF and I went to dinner.  He had just completed a long bike ride and run, because he is training for a few triathlons that he has planned for this summer.  All of that training made him hungry, and I am always game for dinner out!

Sunday brought more baseball games for D, but this time his dad took him and LanMan because it was Father's Day.  So, BF and the other boys and I decided to spend a couple of hours shooting clays at a local shooting range.  It is actually in the same town that your dad teaches in.  A small place, but beautiful shady scenery.

I had never shot a gun before (never wanted to), but while we were out there, BF and your brother convinced me to try.  I wasn't very good, but I tried several time.  Once I even hit the target!

As you will see from these pictures, BF and your brother look totally confident as they shoot.  Me on the other hand, not so confident.  A bit awkward would be more like it.

He was SO BORED! Can you tell?

After the outing at the shooting range, we headed to BF's uncle and aunt's house for a fish fry.  BF's parents were there, as was his cousin and his daughter.  It was a super fun evening of family time and good food.

Now, here is my favorite part of the entire day...  

While I was sitting in the kitchen with BF's mom (your grandmother) and BF's aunt, we got talking about hair.  And the conversation turned to how curly and blonde you are right now.  Apparently BF's hair was just like that when he was your age.  I told them mine was curly and very blonde too, and your brother LanMan had ringlet curls just like yours.  It appears you were destined to have curly blonde hair, coming from a gene pool like that!

BF's aunt kept looking for a photo to show me his hair at that age, but we never could find one.  Probably archived deep in a cedar chest somewhere.  Even if we didn't find what we were looking for, going through the old pictures was fun and educational, since I am new to the family.

But the reason I loved the conversation was that when we talk about you like that, it almost seems like you are there as a part of us.  And because my heart so desperately wishes that you were with our family, especially at get togethers like that, the fact that we at least talk about you makes me feel like you are still considered one of our family, even if you are not allowed to join us.

So we finished off our Father's Day weekend by coming home and watching a movie.  As happens more often than not, I fell asleep on the couch curled up next to BF.  With our favorite photo of you on the table beside us. 

Before I end for today, wanted to share with you one other thing that just happened this morning.  I emailed a new picture of you over to BF.  It was one that he had not seen before.  Before you read his response, I need to explain to you , he and I always tease each other because we are so different.  BF is careful and calculated (he's an accountant you know!) and I am carefree and silly, which is why I am in marketing.  With that, here was his response...

I love that picture, those wild blonde curls are so cute…….they just say “Wild Marketing Girl”! J Although I would like to think that some part of me is in there……….maybe she will be a Wild Marketing girl that can run! J  Love you!

Yes Brit, we love you very much.  And we are proud that we are a part of you, and that you are a part of us.

The summer gift bag

Dear Brit,

I was super excited to come to work today to find the hallway empty.  Probably not something that most people would find exciting, but it meant that your dad came by this weekend and picked up the presents we left for you and your brother and sister!

You see, BF and I have been picking up fun summer themed toys/gifts for you for the past month.  We also got presents for your brother and sister who will be celebrating their first birthday this Saturday.

For your brother and sister, we got big chunky cars.  Your brother's is a John De.ere tractor and your sister's is a girly pink car.  We liked the John De.ere tractor because BF works for a John De.ere company.  We also got each of them a stuffed lovey (elephant and doll), and a couple of other small toys.

For all three of you, we included a pair of little sunglasses and a wind up water toy. They look like great bathtub or pool toys. We also got you a soccer goal to share.  We thought that was appropriate because your dad was a soccer player and our boys played soccer with you when you came for your last visit.  Hopefully the three of you can play soccer together.

In your Do.ra the Ex.plorer gift bag we included the swirly straw M&M cup that we got for you when we were in Vegas a few weeks ago.  As you can see by the pictures here, we loved the M&M store.  And you were the only person we got a gift for while we were there.  Sadly, these silly pictures are the best photos we took on that vacation!

Because we know you love to read, and your mom teaches ballet, we included a book called Gira.ffes Can't Dan.ce accompanied by a stuffed giraffe.  If you are anything like  me, you will understand that dancing is a skill not everyone is good at.  Including giraffes.

Another item we sent you was a cute little patriotic outfit with tutu skirt that has a dog that looks like our pet Sassy on the top.  You loved Sassy when you came to visit us.  I even put copies of the pictures of you and Sassy in with the outfit so you could remember playing with the dog.   Speaking of pictures, we also printed several photos from your visit and put them in a small photo album you can carry around.  They are photos of only you, that way you can take it anywhere you would like, without your parents having to explain who the other people are in the pictures (since many of the photos we took that visit had one of our family members included).

But by far, our favorite gift in the bag was the books that use a picture of you as the main character.  I hope the books don't scare you, because it is a bit creepy seeing your face on a bunny, but maybe you will like them.  We hope you do.

On the last page of each of the books we personalized the message just so you know that we were thinking about you and hopefully when you can read, you will recognize that the books were made with love by us.

And finally, I added a postcard with a simple little note wishing you fun playing with the new gifts.

So today, I sit thinking about how you might be playing with something we sent you.  I know you don't know who we are, but the idea that maybe we were able to send gifts that make you happy brings joy to my heart.

I hope you have a very happy, fun filled summer!

We love you so very much!

The photo on the end table

Dear Brit,

I want to start writing you letters so some day you can know how often I thought about you and so you won't have missing years from when you didn't have a relationship with us.  I hope I can keep up, but even if they are intermittent, at least there will be some.

Today I want to start with a letter to let you know how we remember you at our house.  Obviously, you are not a visitor to our home with any frequency. Since we only have gotten the opportunity to see you twice, we keep your visible presence with us the only way we have, and that is through pictures.

So I thought I would tell you about the picture of you on the end table in the living room.  It sits right next to the couch where BF and I sit to watch TV, work on the computer, and just generally relax.  The photo sits closest to where BF sits, because we always sit in the same spots. (When you get to know BF, you will realize that is common for him - he likes consistency.)

Each month your parents send us 3-4 pictures of you in an email.  The email tells us about your development and often your dad adds a funny story that I'm sure will embarrass you someday when you read them.  The photos they attach are usually from the previous month and they give us an idea of what you look like now.  As you can imagine, the change from one month to the next is amazing since you are still so young and little people grow so fast!

Generally, I make a collage from the pictures they send and I have it printed as an 8x10 photo.  I put the updated collage in the frame by the couch every month.  Usually I have the photo printed the very same day that we get the email from your parents, because I am always so excited to show your brothers the newest pictures of you.

But this month, I did something a little bit different.  Instead of a collage photo, I created an 8x10 of just one of your photos, which I also had printed as a black and white print.  It turned out amazing and looks absolutely beautiful in our living room.  Because it looked so good, I decided to do the same to another photo we got last month.  It too is gorgeous.

When I asked BF which one he wanted in the frame, he looked at them both and said that he loves both of them so he thought we should just alternate one picture per week.  I loved the idea.

Last night was the first time I switched to the second photo.  I grabbed the frame as we were all sitting down in the living room after a long night at the baseball field, and BF looked at me, smiled and said "Time to switch the picture?"  I nodded and switched it out and set it back on the table.

This picture is the most amazing close up of you smiling from ear to ear.  Because it is in black and white, it is very dramatic to see.  Once I set it back on the table I looked at your brothers and said, "Brit is watching you guys, look at her laugh!"

While we wish you were here with us more often than you are, at least we see your smiling face every day.  And know that it brings a smile to OUR faces.

We love you!

We will always be here.

Brit,

Today I felt like I needed to actually write and tell you how much your birthfather and I love you.  While we chose different parents for you, you are always with us.  Every day we speak your name.  We wonder what you are doing.  We wonder about your little personality and wish we could spend some time with you.

We keep a baby book that is all about you.  Each month we get an email from your parents and they include photos.  We make a scrapbook page with as many pictures as we can.  I make a photo collage every month too that he and I have displayed in our homes.  The boys love to look at the pictures of you.  D has a little pink photo album that says "Little Sister".  Sometimes it makes me cry to look at it, but mostly it makes my heart happy to know that he and the other boys all think of you as their sister, in spite of the different parents.

We all love you very much and can't wait for the day that your parents let us see you again.  We want to include you in our lives.  We still love you so much.  So much in fact, it hurts.

I read about adoption every day.  And the saddest stories to me are those where the birthparents stop contact with their child and his/her family.  We will never disappear.  We want to be here for you.  For everything that we are allowed to share.  We don't want to miss a thing.  And we hope someday that we will be able to share parts of your life with you.

But until then, we will continue to love you in our hearts and pour over your pictures.  And we will be thankful for the stories that we do get to hear from your parents.  It gives us great joy to see and hear how happy you are.  That is exactly what we wanted for you.

We love you very much!

Love,

Us